the culture of homeschool

"Homeschool" was not a recognized word in dictionaries or Microsoft Word when I was growing up. It always annoyed me slightly. I loved being homeschooled, but I always felt invisible, other, and it was yet another reminder that our family was different. 

Homeschooling in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s was not what it is today. We were not allowed to play outside during school hours, in case a nosy or curious neighbor called child services. We were constantly drilled by strangers out in public: "what grade are you in? What are you learning in school? Do you know *insert math equation*? Is it legal?" (Yes, as a child, I got the question of whether it was legal often.) Even as a young adult, I was told by a much older adult that I was "quirky," and they could tell I was homeschooled. (I never could tell if this was a passive insult, but I took quirky as a compliment... who wants to be like everyone else?)

My children have had very few of these experiences today. When they are asked if school is out for the day, and they respond that they are homeschooled and that's why they're grocery shopping with mom at eleven in the morning, they have only been met with positivity. For this, I am grateful. How a culture changes in just a few short decades!

To see so many of my peers make this choice for their children now is exciting, but admittedly, strange. Some of these are acquaintances around whom I felt marginalized and "othered" when I was eight, ten, 15 years old! People who previously told me, "I could never homeschool," or "I have no interest in homeschooling," have chosen to do just that. This major shift in our culture throws me for a loop. How is it that something for which I felt so ostracized as a child is now gaining so much popularity? Maybe it's not as major as I think. Maybe the negativity toward homeschooling still exists by large in our culture, and I have just become used to ignoring it. But it is strange to see homeschooling acknowledged in the news, in cute quotes on coffee mugs at bookstores, and being considered by so many parents as legitimate education.

Funny story: when I began homeschooling River (which was always the plan; public kinder was the exception, a nice "break" for me as I had our third baby), I received a message from a well-meaning friend who gave homeschooling a try for a season: "Don't fall for the trend; it's not what I thought it would be. It's draining and actually takes a lot of effort." I told them that I had been homeschooled myself and knew well what I was getting myself into, and... what trend? But I guess they were right. When I was little, 1% of children were homeschooled. Now, it's a whopping 6 to 10%.

Lifestyle trends happen in part because of how they make people feel. As a Christian, I know this well. We choose certain things because they make us feel good. Not good, like getting a back massage or eating a bowl of ice cream. Good, as in: righteous. We must admit this to get to the heart of our choices. There's also the motivation of appearances - "if I have a ton of kids, a few goats and chickens, sew my own clothes, buy local and make sure to talk about it, grow a garden, have my babies at home, use cloth diapers, I will appear in a way I desire." A TikTok mom has made a name for herself by making fun of "crunchy" moms' desires to appear the most "crunchy" (all while showing, conveniently, just how crunchy she is.) I bring this up because I think it's so important to be pure in our intentions - to know why we make the choices we make, be real with ourselves, and confront head-on our humanity and vulnerability.

But I know this trend has a lot more behind it than just appearances or feeling righteous. I am so far removed from the experience of public school that I will not lend my voice to this or pretend to understand. I will say though: I love teachers, my heart breaks for what so many are going through right now, and they deserve some of the biggest paychecks ever.

It was funny to discover that "homeschool" in all its forms is now recognized as an actual word. Homeschooled. Homeschooling. Homeschooler. This is definitely a "you had to be there" thing - as in, you had to be homeschooled through the 90s to get how jarring this whole thing is. It is no longer underlined by the squiggly red line which marks an error, which I noticed as I was typing out our plans for our 7th year of homeschooling. If you need encouragement, advice, headpats, whatever - just call me your friendly neighborhood second-generation homeschooler with 19 years of homeschooling experience as both student and mother (!!!!) and I've got you, friend.

And one more thing - Mom, thanks for homeschooling me, and giving me one of the best experiences of my childhood.